Maybe you are really reading this because you wonder why YOU are still single, but it could be my story will bring healing to how you see GOD in this area.
That’s what I care about…how you see God. He doesn’t withhold good things.
If you don’t believe that, you will take matters into your own hands.
Historically, that never got us anywhere OR it took a lot longer to get where we were going. i.e. Sarah (Abe’s wife) taking matters into her own hands.
In my 19 years of being saved, I have never dated. I have never held a guy’s hand, kissed….nada. I was asked out once while speaking at a college/high school group by a guy that was maybe 25 and I was 40…but other than that never asked out.
In Iraq, I was proposed to by a married man. Bro…that ain’t EVA gone happen. TT loves covenant too much.
In Israel, I was also proposed to by a married Muslim man. Na brah. TT don’t play like that. One, you’re Muslim. Two, you’re married.
I will be the first and the last for my husband…until I die.
In Africa, I had a guy say “Dang, gurl, you my wife…you my size…let me get yo number.”
In Asheville, I bumped into my ex, 5 years after getting saved, and he suggested maybe I was his wife. I still praise God I didn’t cave.
I remember once, in all these years, where I told a guy I liked him. It was right after my dad’s death when I wanted that man-who-loves-me hole filled real quick like. I still regret telling that guy I liked him. That’s not my M.O. whatsoever. Not that he wasn’t a potential mate, but the method was backwards.
When we are weak, we do crazy things.
I have heard all kinds of reasons on why TT is still single or what would help to be married.
1. You just never stay put in one place. (Believe me, I have seen what a man in love will do to be with the one he wants. Ain’t buying it.)
2. You gotta be open to it. (He’s gotta hear God’s voice and pursue me. If my openness detracts his boldness, then he ain’t for me.)
3. Start cooking. That will show you can care for a man. (I won’t be what I am not to get a man. Hopefully food won’t be his god, nor a hot cooked meal.)
4. Wear make-up. (I do and 85% of our time together will be at home where I prefer not to wear it, so that’s as superficial as my blushy cheeks.)
5. You gotta get on dating websites. (TT never has and never will. Yes, I have heard and seen amazing relationships form outta that, but TT’s man needs some boldness to approach me. If our relationship starts in me initiating, we done-zo. The way something starts will determine a lot about how it goes.)
6. Guys are intimidated by confident women. (Anyone intimidated by me for sure can’t lead me….so it’s fine….I don’t need to marry them.)
7. When you are least looking for it, it will come. (Then I woulda been married 50 times over if that was the case.)
Or shoot maybe it’s because this banner was put over me at 1:)
Can I get a witness? Ya feel meh?
We could also go into why I think more and more people are single:
1. We don’t honor covenant, so when things get hard…we split.
2. Men need to step up their game and pursue. Gain some security.
3. We are selfish and ultimately don’t want to give up doing things our way, right away.
4. We saw marriages that were a mess and thought…I will run as far from that as possible.
These above reasons are true, but that is not the title of this blog.
The title is “Why am I single?”
The answer I am confident of: Because God will be ready to bring me a husband when it is His timing.
He is good. I trust Him.
He knows for the most part of my saved life, I haven’t wanted to be married.
He knows He convinced me how beautiful it can be through marriages of friends that I get a closer look at.
He now knows He is enough for me.
He knows my husband will be a bonus, not my #1.
He knows that I know He only gives good gifts.
So because He says marriage will be good, I trust Him.
Because He has told me I will be married, I trust Him.
And my God is always on time. He’s not is a rush.
He is sovereign and I actually trust that if I am meant to meet my husband in line for a porta-jon in Timbuktu, while wearing no make-up and living an abundant, confident life without him…as he is about to catch his flight to Iran….then it will happen.
I can say all the above because I have learned to fall in love with Jesus the past 19 years. These conclusions didn’t come overnight.
Believe me, there were times in these last 19 years, I was distraught that one day I would HAVE to get married and be limited and at the mercy of a husband who may or may not be on fire for God. I would then be stuck, because I don’t believe in divorce for any reason. Then I would drag my husband along.
I really had….have…these thoughts. But I am letting Him renew my mind.
God assured me our ministry would be more together than apart.
And I made some decisions. 1. Divorce is not an option. 2. His faith, weak or strong…he’s mine. Maybe my faith will be weak too! 3. I will submit to him. (Some of y’all didn’t like that word. Maybe you need some more time to let God marinate in your mind what that means in covenant.) 4. God has the best advantage over any dating website. He knows that people check they “like to hike” and that “hike” means to the bed at 2am after playing video games for 2 hours.
He’s the best match-maker.
So I trust Him. And when I get married, I will trust Him….just like the foundation I have built all these years.
He will always be #1….and Biblically the two become one….so that new TT….two-in-one…will together…make Jesus #1.
