I woke up at 2:48am to what sounded like a buzzing noise and knew Jesus woke me up early for my 20th celebration of my salvation. I set no alarms….but He wanted me up.
He showed me a vision, as I laid in bed, of me holding pain in one hand and joy in the other. Then I was being held by Him. That brought me so much peace in the midst of life right now with news that crushes and experiencing God’s story that revives.
Spending time with Jesus, I read over the letter I wrote Him 20 years ago:
I thought my Bible reading plan, from a Bible published in maybe 2013, was eerily true in a physical sense…”Popular time of year to wear a mask.”
God encouraged me, in my quiet time, from Deborah’s life….that after 20 years of the Israelites wanting to be free, God raised up Deborah and Barak. And the biggest Bible reference He has been encouraging me with is Solomon, who took 20 years to build the Lord’s house and his house, then after that he focused on building, rebuilding, fortifying and installing barred gates.
Solomon turned his attention to rebuilding.…2 Chronicles 8. That is what I sense my here on out will be. Making foundations sure on the Word of God….strengthening believers, telling believers-to-be about Jesus and barring the gates so the enemy’s deception no longer can come in and out freely.
I planned to celebrate my 20th this year. So I had brunch plans in Asheville at Taco Billy (my favorite restaurant in Asheville) with my close girlfriends and plans to see Tim and his wife, Lori at the church he pastors.
Being the first year I chose to celebrate like this….I was excited.
I got in my car, prayed for safety as I started out on my journey and was worshipping to this:
I mightta have been at “You’re so holy….holy…..holy!” and going down the highway at about 60 mph around 7:20am….while it was still dark….
All I had time to see was a deer’s precious face right next to my car in the middle of the highway.
There wasn’t time to swerve….we just collided.
And the deer exploded.
I pulled off into the gas station close by to see what had happened to my car. I tried to open my door but it wasn’t able to.
I crawled out of my passenger seat door and looked at the damage.
I kept driving, realizing it was still drivable. I called road side assistance in my “I-have-no-idea-what-to-do-right-now” moment. The road side assistance guy is like “Mam, so you are driving….what do you want me to do for you?”
I’m like “I dunno, do you have any advice?” (These are FOR SURE moments that make it to dinner tables where I can picture this assistance guy retelling the story of this lady that called while driving down the road for road-side assistance.)
I then do what all people with moms do, even if your 42…I call my mom at 7:30am. “Mom, I hit a deer, but I am okay.” In tears.
When we got off the call, I thought about how thankful I am for my mom and always having her to call.
I thanked God for safety. He did keep me safe.
I thanked God that 5 years ago (after being in a really bad accident in India and knowing I needed a car when I came back to America), was searching for “safest vehicle” and this CRV was one of them.
I thanked God that that was all the damage that was done to my car.
You wanna know how I see it? Wow, God must have an amazing encounter for me at the body shop. I’m going to go in eyes wide open and shoes prepared to bring the gospel of peace. I will tell whoever is on the other end of this…at the body shop….how God goes to wild lengths to reach them.
Recently, a Racer from a squad I mentored was in a really bad car accident with his wife. This has made me hyper aware in the last few weeks of how quick your life can change and how we never know what will happen when we drive somewhere.
But seriously, how cool would it have been….had the wreck been worse and TT faced eternity….that I was worshipping most likely at the “You’re so holy holy holy” part of the song and would have gone straight from that to the really “Holy holy holy” scene happening 24/7 in heaven currently. (Rev 4:8)
I thought of cancelling my call at 8am….my 10am “ride or die” girlfriends plans and plans with Tim, etc and head back to GA to a body shop.
And this resolve filled me, like “Not today satan….you are NOT going to try to take me out on my birthday.” And I decided, car banged up or not, I’m still celebrating my birthday.
If my dad could see me….he’d laugh.
My call at 8am with Katelyn was incredible. A car pulled out on me on the highway and I told Katelyn “If I just woulda got into ANOTHER accident, I woulda kept going and arrived at Taco Billy with my car about to fall apart…like I made it!”
Talking to Katelyn, I continued my 2 hours drive to Asheville to see these precious souls. I call them my “ride or die” girlfriends who have ALL been with me in missions and who continue to be gifts from God.
Here we are at Taco Billy, where we had to sit outside and some had been concerned on how cold it would be, but God allowed us to sit in a covered area that HAD a HEATER!!!! whoooop whooop. Won’t He DO IT!
Then Sarah Tilley asked if I wanted to come to her house to see her parents. YUP!
On the way to her parents house, I get a text from a dear friend. Amongst other things that were so similar to the vision He gave me this morning was this:
“The transformation comes when we let him hold us tightly (every broken piece of ourselves).”
I enter Sarah’s parent’s home and sit in their living room, I thought about the amazing resolve of her Dad to praise Jesus in the storm.
We hold pain and we hold joy.
I got in my car headed to Arden First Baptist to meet with Tim Brown and his brother. Tim led me to the Lord 20 years ago today. We made a video so I would have it as a memory.
I cried in thankfulness that Tim had the guts to share the gospel with me 20 years ago. I am still thankful for my salvation. I am still in awe that God could radically change me. I am a new creation and that never gets old.
As I drove to my mom’s to spend the night, I worshipped. I waited for another deer to round the corner. I thought, maybe something worse could happen. And that Holy Spirit resolve in me thought “No matter what, I will worship.”
That is what a life transformed by the Holy Spirit does. Your vision is changed. You are not alone, but you are held by a loving Father who probs rejoices in the awe His daughter lives with 20 years out.
Come hell or high water, I will worship Him.
